In less than 45 minutes I will no longer be an ER scribe.
Gone are the days of long 10 hour shifts in the hectic ER in my scribe uniform. Gone are the days of driving to work with 6 inches of snow outside.
And intead I get to look forward to 6 hour work days in a wonderful classroom following my passion to teach mathematics to young minds in Richmond city. Not to mention, wearing cute dresses, high heels… and oh yeah, SNOW DAYS!
This been such a pivotal year for me. I have been able to decide what it is that I want to do with my life, what I value in life, and what is most important to me.
It’s so hard for me to believe these days are behind me. This job has done so much more for me than I could have imagined it would when I first walked into it. I took this job as an ER scribe to find out once and for all if I want to become a physician. I taught for a semester while in college and absolutely loved it. But for the greater portion of my life I had only ever considered becoming a physician. So before I moved forward with my life, I had to be 100% sure which career to choose and which to leave behind once and for all.
After having the opporunity to work closely with several female physicians, all of my reservations quickly became realities. Nearly every one of the female physicians I had worked with told me “if I could do it again, I wouldn’t,” and even “if you want to be a physician, make sure you freeze your eggs.” It wasn’t just them, but even male physicans I had heard say things like, “well, my shift is over now. I’m going to go home to see my 6 month old baby girl that I haven’t seen in 2 days.” Family aside, the physician I worked with yesterday has two kids and at the age of 42 just paid off her medical school loans. This is not a life I want.
One thing is for certain: if you want to go to medical school you have to beyond all else have a passion for it. I always thought I did, and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved this job and definitely have a passion for medicine.
However, this job made me realize my passion for medicine does not trump my desire to have and be there for my family.
Myself aside, this job taught me a lot about the horrible public health system. Drug seekers trying to take advantage of their Medicaid/Medicare/etc., to come to the ED and fake illnesses so they’ll given a medication induced high or be prescribed drugs for them to either OD on and come back the next day or sell on the streets. People who clog up the ER with ilnesses that need to be treated by their PCPs. The ER beaurocrats that want to run the ED based on numbers instead of patient care. This is not an enviornment I want to be a part of and not what I expected medicine to be.
In any case, I am so excited to start following my dreams and pursuing my passion of mathematics and education. I know this is what I’m made for. My life is about to change and I’m so excited for it!
Well, my shift is over! When I walk out of these ER doors, I’m leaving behind the life of medicine. Not only do I feel great about that, but I know 100% I am making the right decision. And that’s something I am grateful to be able to say.
Watch out world, Ms. K is ready to rock!