This has been a huge year for me, especially in regards to self improvement. I had come to terms with floating in the wind, never understanding the importance of self acceptance. I was living by Twenties Girl: ”
Sometimes I think we’d do better as dandelion seeds — no family, no history, just floating off into the world, each our own piece of fluff.
Until recently when I took a turn for the worse and realized I was beyond simply floating in the wind; I actually didn’t even know who I was and as a result, I couldn’t figure out how to like myself. I used to absolutely dread being alone, eating alone, hanging out with myself, even sleeping by myself. But that’s all changed this year, after one little change: being open. That one trick changed my outlook on life, and as a result, helped me love myself.
And of all things I’ve learned about myself, I think what I love most is my taste in music. If you looked through my iPod, you could never guess what kind of music I’m into. For example, here is what my iPod looks like on shuffle:
- Holding On, Jay Sean
- Low, Flo Rida ft. T-Pain
- Crystallize, Lindsey Stirling
- Four Minutes, Madonna Ft. Justin Timberlake
- Say Hey (I Love You), Michael Franti & Spearhead
- Numb, U2
- Carol of the Bells, Barry Manilow
- Cyclone, Baby Bash
- The Mixed Tape, Jack’s Mannequin
- Locked Out of Heaven, Bruno Mars
- The Cello Song, Piano Boys
- Feel this Moment, Pitbull
- Gravity, John Mayer
- Otherwise, Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Crazy in Love ft. Jay Z, Beyonce
Classic, Rock, R&B, Hip Hop, Indian… can you tell what kinda music I’m into?
That’s what I love most about myself.
Perhaps it’s because this is a direct representation of how I feel about life. I am very open to new experiences and always looking for new laughs and adventures. I love life and all it has to offer.
Music especially, if I may add. I know I often say my generation has killed music, (and in a sense, it really has) but there is much to appreciate about every generation of music. The other day I was listening to Pop2K on XM radio and I remembered all of the words to my favorites from when I was in middle school and high school (Kelly Clarkson, Backstreet Boys, Ciara, N’SYNC and 98 Degrees alike) and I still remembered all the words! It had literally been 10 years since I had listened to this music and I couldn’t forget it. That is how much I loved this music and let it in.
Music is one of the most diverse and beautiful things life has to offer and what a shame it would be to shut any of it out. That’s why it kills me when people say they don’t like country/rap/classical music; how do you know that when you haven’t truly given it a chance?
If you’re like I was and still trying to fall in love with yourself, here is the best piece of advice I can offer: be open. Life, laughter, music, love, every life experience imaginable. Be open to it all and never shut something out because you think you may not like it or you don’t want to give it a shot. Life is about taking risks; you can never learn to truly love yourself if you never let yourself go and figure yourself out.
Or as Andre Gide once said:
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore
By the same token, a man cannot learn to love himself without losing sight of complacency.
Give up what you think is right. Let go of how you think things should be. Open yourself up to how things could be.
And don’t ever stop the music.