3 Things I’m too Old to Do Around my Parents

I have the greatest parents. I really do. I’m 23 and I still love coming home and spending time with them. I’m fully aware that I can do whatever I want and they are fully aware that there is little they can do stop me from doing what I want. And yet, I still seem to regress to my old high school teenager ways whenever I come home. Even though I have the complete autonomy to do as I please, why do I still do certain things around my parents…

1) Pretend to be Asleep
My father just walked by my bedroom door and I’ve been up blogging on my iPad. Instead of continuing to blog and read, I turn off my iPad and pretend to be asleep. I know why I did it. To avoid:

Avi, shouldn’t you be going to sleep by now?
Yes, daddy. Good night.

You’re never too old to want to avoid “the tone” from your father, right? Instead of saying:

IM 23 AND YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHEN TO SLEEP!

Because that’s very adult-like.

2) Sneak in and out of the House
The other day I didn’t come back home until 5am. I like to think I snuck in so I wouldn’t disturb my parents, and while that’s part of it, I can’t help but wonder if the real reason was I didn’t want my parents to know I came in so late and have to tell them why. So instead, I turned off the alarm system from the outside and snuck in the house quietly. In the morning, what did I do?

3) LIE (or as I like to call it, hide the truth)
I told them I came back at midnight. Of all things, I have no idea why I still do this. I’m an adult for goodness sakes! I’m old enough to have a boyfriend, take responsibility for bad grades in college, hang out with whoever I want, drink whenever I want, and ignore phone calls whenever I want (read 5 Stages of a Mothers Worry), and yet I feel the need to lie about all of these things. “No mom, I’m not going out to see a boy,” or, “I got all As and one B this semester,” or, “of course I only had one drink at the bar,” and, “I’m in the library mom. I’ll call you later.” Sigh. What’s the matter with me.

Parents have a knack for regressing their kids. Their simple presence whether in person, over the phone, through a text message, or just knowledge of their existence a couple miles away is enough to drive their adult daughter to do horrible things. I should really fight this…

But what do I know, it’s past my bed time anyways.

Much love,
Avi

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