Apathy: Now Part of a Balanced Breakfast!

Most people don’t know this about me, but in March of last year, I battled depression. I was down all the time and had no idea why. I loved my job, my newlywed marriage was amazing, I had great friends, and I had no reason to be unhappy. But I knew something was wrong, and everyone else could see it too… and everyone wanted to fix me.

What’s wrong?
Is everything ok at home?
Maybe it’s weather.
You probably just haven’t been getting enough sleep.
You should drink more water.
Have you tried yoga?

To quote Hyperbole and a Half, this is what it was like:

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Up until this point in my life, the only knowledge I had about depression was from Hyperbole and a Half (which is an incredible book that I highly recommend if you’ve never read it). But to actually experience everything that she had been going through was frightening. Amidst a constant state of sadness and insecurity there is a looming sense of dread from having no idea what is troubling you to begin with.

Eventually, after about a couple months and a lot of inner reflection (and maybe some yoga), I was able to bounce back to my normal self.

And suddenly, I was Public Enemy Number One… Again.

I am happy, bubbly, enthusiastic, optimistic, and laugh without fear of judgement. I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person and make no apologizes about it. This is who I am at my ground state and I am proud of it.

But this is also the reason why I have only about four best friends and only surround myself with a select few. Most people can’t “handle” me when I act myself.

I am constantly accosted by even random strangers asking me to calm down or who give me dirty stares when I laugh too loud. I never have a quick, snarky response to any of them because it usually takes me by surprise since the people I choose to surround myself with on a regular basis don’t treat me like this. I also can’t imagine talking to someone that way and have no idea how random strangers feel like they can treat someone they don’t know that way either, but I digress.

But that summer, fresh off a spout of sadness that I had never before experienced, every time I was met with this kind of disdain, it was even more shocking than before.

Everytime I went out of my comfort zone to socialize and try to make new friends and start with a cheerful, “hello!” the dirty looks I’d get from people who thought they were too cool to talk to me took me by surprise.

The optimistic posts I would put on Facebook, amongst terror and political pessimism, that was met with comments from people that accused me of being insensitive appaled me.

The random stranger who told me I’m laughing so loud that I’m “disturbing her and everyone else in the restaurant” while I was catching up with a best friend I hadn’t seen in over a year truly upset me.

And it’s not just me. The other day I was watching Shark Tank and there was an incredibly enthusiastic lady who was selling plush animals with a comb inside of it. Literally two sharks refused to give her an investment because she was “too much” and they “wouldn’t be able to handle working with her.” Mark Cuban asked her if she ever “turned off.” My first thought was wow, I’ve been there girl. The minute she said “ok this is me turning it off” she was given a deal from Lori.

Suddenly I realized: society can’t handle happy people, they want to fix you when you’re depressed, and the only solution (for those in the business of pleasing everyone around you, anyway) is to balance your emotions the way you handle your diet.

It’s truly no wonder that apathy is the world’s biggest problem right now.

So what’s the solution here? I’m no Dali Lama, but what I do know is that we live in a world of political turmoil, terror, and pain. Don’t discount any single ounce of happiness and in any form. Laughter, optimism, a greeting, a smile. Because seriously, this world needs more of it. And moreover, you never know how someone is or was feeling deep down. That happiness may be the last thing they have to hold on to.

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New Year’s Resolut-one

I have never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I either go overboard and make up 7 and can’t remember half of them by January 6th, or I choose one, like go to the gym every day, and then feel a sense of dread, pain and guilt every time I don’t meet my goal.
Well, this year I’ve decided to do something different. I found this great book over the holidays called “Eat Pretty Every Day- 365 Daily Affirmations.”


It has an affirmation for every day which I have been reading before bed each night to help you look and feel beautiful. It has tips on staying healthy, skin care, beauty, and helping you lead a happier life. What I love most of about this book is that it is organized by seasons, so you don’t necessarily start on the first page of the book, but rather which day of the current season you’re on.

On the 10th day of winter (New Year’s Day), the daily affirmation was, instead of making a New Year’s Resolution, pick a word that will be an overarching goal of what you want to achieve this year. It could be relaxation if you felt the previous year was very stressful, or happiness, if you want to be sure to pay particular attention to what is and is not making you happy this year. Use this word as your guide throughout the year when you are attempting to make a difficult decision, or if you have a free day and can’t decide how to fill it. Keep this word somewhere that you’ll see on a regular basis as a constant reminder of your goal.

My word for 2018 is balance. I am halfway through my 4th year of teaching and have come to some pretty difficult realizations. I have allowed my job to consume my life. For the past four years, I have stayed at school into the late hours, bringing papers home to grade, doing lesson plans until 8 or 9pm, answering messages from students while cooking dinner with my husband. I have sacrificed so much time, happiness, dinner dates, and quality time with friends and family. I allowed myself to believe my students’ education was more important than my own happiness. I would then be painfully disappointed and really take it personally when my students didn’t put forth the same time, effort, and energy that I was putting in for them. For the majority of my students, the sacrifices were worth it, but were they necessary? I love what I do, I love my kids, and I know there is a balance that needs to be found in there somewhere, and 2018 will be the year I work towards finding it.

Because I have come to realize that I deserve it. I have an amazing husband, incredible friends, a wonderful family and I should not be letting anything in the way of that. For so long I felt a pang of guilt when I would receive a message from a student during the late hours of the night with a homework question and thought I can answer that later, let me enjoy this wonderful evening with my husband. But, in the back of my mind, I would be distracted, thinking how should I respond to her? or I want to solve that problem right now so I can help him get to the next step, or become upset if I received a ridiculous message about grades. At which point, I just respond since I’m not 100% present anymore anyways. 2018 is the year I shut down post school stress once and for all. From now on, the only way I’ll check my email after hours is if I absolutely have to or want to but definitely not while I am enjoying myself with my friends, family, and most importantly, my husband.

For 4 years, I would watch teachers leave the building right when the bell rang and thought wow I wish I could leave now, I just have so much work to do. How’d they do it? Well this is my year! I’m going to be that teacher who finds the right balance between 8:15am and 3:45pm so that I can leave on time and leave my work at school. Because if there is something I have learned from experienced teachers it is that there are more important things to life than my job. I have definitely lost sight of this concept. For so long I have believed how can the life of one person (mine) be more important than the 100 that I teach?

You see, when you spend 3-5 hours per week with your students, you start to build a real connection with them. Their successes are yours, and likewise, their struggles are yours. So much so that you start to believe theirs supersede your own. I would do anything for my students, but I must learn to balance how I feel about their trials and triumphs with my own. I can’t stop feeling for them, but I can’t continue to believe they are always the same or greater than my own. Certainly not after 3:45pm. I know it will be tough, because even more difficult than not taking papers home from work is not taking home emotions.

With all consuming jobs, like teaching, it’s difficult to create the separation between life and work, but it needs to be done. For so long I have been putting my students first, but it’s time I put myself first. I’m sure there’s a balance there, and this year will be the first step towards my journey to finding it.

“So What Do They Call You in School?”

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Saraswati, Lakshmi, Parvati, Satyanarayan. These are beautiful traditional Hindu  Indian names that, admittedly, are very difficult to say. As a result, a lot of us have English nicknames like Sunny, Sid, Fred, and Mo, even when these nicknames are no where near our actual names (trust me, there’s no Indian name that remotely sounds like Fred, and yet, that’s my father’s American name. Seriously.).

If you are someone who can’t say our names, don’t worry, we don’t fault you for this. We fully recognize a lot of these syllables are not in your vernacular. But we do fault those of you who don’t try or care that you are saying it wrong. These names may seem like crazy names with random letters that don’t belong next to each other, but they are beautiful names  that represent our religion, culture, heritage, and most of all, our identities.

Take my name for example, Avanti (English pronunciation: uh-van-tea. Actual pronunciation: Uh-Vun-Thee). I can’t tell you how many times an extra uh-van-TAY was added to my name, or Avani, not minding the T. Or the worst, E-VON-TAY. And that’s ok, trust me, I’m so used to it. I, like many other Indian people, have come to accept my English pronunciation and now introduce myself using this name to everyone except other Indian people. Why not just help people say my Indian pronunciation? Because it takes forever and it’s still said wrong. It’s just easier to accept defeat sometimes. And a lot of times I will get “oh wow, can you repeat that, that’s beautiful,” or “Ok. I’m just going to call you Avi.”

But what bothers me is when people just don’t care to say it correctly. No question, just assumptions. It puts me in a tough spot because while I want to be called my name correctly (at least in part), I almost feel bad inconveniencing someone into saying a name that is so complicated.

So, about a month ago I had decided I had had it. Every time someone said my name wrong, I corrected them. Seems like no big deal right? You’d think so. People actually minded. Someone actually said to me, “oh yeah, I can’t say that. It’s not in my vernacular.” I thought of saying to her that it was her vernacular that renamed me this heinous name to begin with.

This may not seem like such a big deal, but this brings us to the underlying issue that has swept the nation.

Ignorance.

Recently I saw a video on Food Network where Carla Hall dressed up as an Indian person for Halloween and it really upset me.

Indian is not a costume. It is who I am. I know if I dressed up as her race it would be politically incorrect, so why is there a double standard here?

It’s absolutely inexcusable. My parents came here in the 70’s because they knew America had become the melting pot of opportunities. It’s been over 40 years since they’ve arrived and the amount that people have learned about Indian culture is probably about the same. It seems like no body cares that we are here and what we stand for, even though almost everyone knows of at least one Indian person. Knowledge about our heritage and culture is learned from watching Bollywood movies on Netflix and Slumdog Millionaire instead of from actual Indian people. Because it’s so much easier to be ignorant and pretend all you know about us is what you see on t.v. and then think it’s ok to come up to us and ask if we eat curry and break out into song and dance every 10 minutes. (I know this isn’t everyone, as I have many wonderful friends who take a great interest in my heritage, but the frequency with which I am asked ignorant questions like these is astounding.)

We are not aliens! We have been in this country for generations now. We are as American as you are; which is why we all have incredibly good English, (so, please, stop acting surprised).

Because you know what’s on the other side of this ignorance? Completely innocent people, like Srinivas Kuchibhotla, being gunned down by a 51 year old man telling him to “get out of his country.” Little did he know, this was Srinvas’ country. It’s time for us all to open our eyes and our minds and learn a little something about our different neighbors before it’s too late.

This country’s not just black and white anymore. We are brown, yellow, green, purple, turquoise, and all of the above at the same time. America is a beautiful melting pot but ignorance is poisoning it, and now it’s just spoiled soup. There is still time to fix it though. A soup that’s too salty can always be fixed by diluting it. Dilute this world with understanding and love instead of indifference and we can have the beautiful America my parents came for 40 years ago.

7 Reasons Why You Want to Teach

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I would never argue that teaching is the easiest job in the world. In fact, I believe it is one of the most difficult jobs out there. It is also the most wonderful, rewarding, and exciting jobs possible. Which is why I can’t believe it has a terrible reputation.

But that reason is plain and simple: other teachers.

I remember the summer before I started my first year, one of my mentors told me stay away from the older teachers that have been here too long. They have a negative view of this job and will bring you down. Don’t let them dim your enthusiasm! I have stayed true to this and I believe I still sparkle in the classroom! I currently teach Algebra II at inter-ciy, urban school. I am coming up on my third year on the job and I love it. Sure, there are many tough days but what job doesn’t have tough days!

Today I read on article from Huffington Post by Melissa Bowers, a former 12-year English teacher: 7 Reasons You May Not Want to Teach Anymore and I have to say, it broke my heart. Not because someone had this opinion of teaching, but because they were actively publicizing how awful this job is. It’s articles like this that turn off younger, passionate, enthusiastic potential teachers from ever considering teaching as a profession. I have expressed my love for this job to so many people and the vast majority of them are shocked that I love it so much. Shocked! Can you believe that? A job that I pour my heart and soul into and they are shocked that I love it.

The reality is, if you poorly run your classroom, your students, lower your expectations of your students and yourself, want to take the easy way out and not put any effort into your lessons, and fail to adapt to changing times, yes, teaching is going to be awful for you. But if you are willing to adapt and grow with your kids, give them high expectations and hold them accountable, there is truly no better job.

First, let’s get the obvious reason that Bowers doesn’t discuss out of the way: below average salary. For the record, teachers do not have a below average salary. In fact, for my town my salary is above average! Of course I feel like teachers should get paid more than what we get. We are the epitome of under paid and over worked. But that does not mean we get paid poorly. It just means we probably should get paid more. Who isn’t in a job where they feel like they don’t get paid enough?

Now on to her list:

1. You are an “authority figure” with no real authority.

Bowers argues that in your classroom you are not really an authority figure. You are actually run by the parents, school board, and state or national standards and students can sense it. Sure, I can see how you really work for these people and what you do can be dictated by them, but only if you let them! Of course you have to abide by state standards. All jobs have directives from their bosses! Even CEOs have to be conscious of what their market needs which drives what they do. Parents can be a boss, or they can be an asset. If your child is struggling, it is certainly the job of the teacher to hold their students accountable by reaching out to the parent and keeping them in the loop of their child’s performance. And if you fail to do so, obviously that parent is going to try to run you. You are not doing your job! As far as the school board, other than funding the schools and responding to concerns, I have never felt personally “run” by the school board.

Here’s the truth: run your classroom properly and you are definitely the one and only authority figure that students will see. If you improperly run your classroom, students can sense it! Students know when you are only there for a paycheck or if you truly care about them. That’s the only thing that would ever drive a student to say something like “you know, my father pays your salary.” As for me, my students sense it day in and day out how much I love being their teacher. I once had the school secretary call me about something to do with compensation for tutoring after school. My class overheard me saying the word “paycheck” and they literally gasped. It was as if my students forgot that I get paid to do this job. I have to admit, that was one of the proudest moments of my career thus far.

2. Your day does not resemble that of a typical white-collar professional.

And that is so fantastic!!! I get to work super early but that means I get to go home at 3pm when no one is out yet. I go grocery shopping, go to the mall, schedule my doctor’s appointments and get first dibs on everything!

Here are some specific things she says a typical job can do but teachers can’t:

1. Pee- Sure I may not get to pee whenever I need to, but that’s so easy, I call in my neighboring teacher to watch my class for a split second and run. Honestly, I don’t want a job where I have all the free time to run to the bathroom whenever I want. I like that I keep busy and half the time I forget I need to pee anyways.
2. Get coffee- Again, all the free time in the world at work to go get coffee? I get off at 3 anyways. I go home and make coffee!
3. Spend fifteen minutes chatting leisurely with a colleague- 15 minutes? Try 90 minutes every day for planning. I plan effectively and spend most planning periods relaxing, talking to my work wife the Geometry teacher while we make our copies.
4. Go out to lunch- Yes, the 25 minutes for lunch as opposed to the 1 hour sucks, but you get used to it and most days I can’t wait to get back in the classroom to continue my lesson.
5. Complete paperwork and other job-related tasks during the actual work day- again, effective time management is essential.
6. Sit down occasionally- But I get my steps in!!! My FitBit loves this! Seriously, teaching has so many health benefits!

3. Everyone thinks they know how to do your job. EVERYONE.

Yep- this one is true. Everyone at some point has taught something, learned something, and/or gone to school so everyone thinks they know how to teach. But here’s my question- WHO CARES?!?! It doesn’t mean you have to listen to them! At the end of the day it is your classroom, your lesson, your kids. No one else has the authority to teach them but you. It’s like being a first time mom. Everyone wants to give you advice. Whether or not you take it is up to you. Sure it can get extremely annoying especially when you feel like they’ve never been a mother before and have no right to give you advice. But that’s just the nature of the beast.

4. You wanted to foster imagination, not slaughter it.

It’s true, there is a huge pressure for teachers to teach to the test. I remember my first year, I had so many ideas on how students can learn different topics and I had so much pressure to focus on the test. I remember playing math games with my kids and actually being told we don’t have time for fun and games, focus on the material, give them worksheets, quizzes, and notes. Nothing else.

Well, this year I totally changed things up. I focus on the material I am required to, but we play lots of games every day, we have mini-projects, class experiments, and group competitions. My kids love coming into my classroom because they know their limits will be tested and they will have fun. Yes there are ways to “slaughter” imagination: take the easy way out and only give your kids notes, worksheets, and tests. I spend hours upon hours to create lessons that will challenge the way my students look at math, but at the end of the day, I know that what I am doing is best for my kids.

And in case you’re curious, my test scores ROCK!

5. The technology obsession is making you CRAZY.

CRAZY IN LOVE!!! Honestly, Bowers make me really mad in this portion of her article. Especially when she argues this generation doesn’t need any more technology, especially when they are using their cell phones in your class already and the technology is more a distraction than a learning tool.

Here is the reality: you need to meet your students where they are at. The fact that they have “enough technology” is the reason why you need to integrate it in the classroom. This is how they are used to functioning in their every day lives, so of course they would learn better if it was involved in their learning as well.

This generation does not learn the way you and I learned. Notes on the chalkboard, worksheets afterwards, tests and quizzes don’t cut it anymore. All of my kids have some form of ADD… heck! I have ADHD!

Technology can be the best thing to keep your students engaged in your lessons Bowers makes it sound like the only technology out there is a cell phone. WRONG! There are SMART board, SMART Response clickers, and oh so much more!  I even have a class Instagram, Twitter, and LiveBinder so my kids can keep track of the class at home!

The beauty of math is that it’s not stationary; it is all around us which means it should be interactive! No matter how hard I try, I can’t put that on the whiteboard. This is why technology is so crucial for this day and age.

I completely agree that cell phones are a huge distraction in the classroom. That’s why I collect every single cell phone when they walk into the classroom so they’re not tempted to use them. And most importantly, if your students are using their phones in the classroom while you’re teaching, you did not plan an engaging lesson. Yes, I’m blaming you! Even on the rare occasion that I forget to collect cell phones, my kids are not on them.

Bowers admits that technology is wonderful but not necessary. I have never felt like it was mandatory for me to use technology in my classroom, but I definitely see it as a necessity!

6. All the entitlement and the trophies and the apathy and whatever.

I know, this generation is full of kids that feel incredibly entitled. But how can you base your love for the job on the students that you teach? Not all students are entitled, and not all students are wonderful. But I promise, there are some incredible and talented students that deserve a quality education. Just because they are surrounded by entitled, disruptive, disrespectful peers doesn’t take away from the education they deserve.

7. There is no reliable way to assess who is ACTUALLY good at this.

I’m not sure why this is a reason to not want to be a teacher. If you know you’re great, your students know you’re awesome, student assessments are wonderful, that shows how effective your teaching is. I know that I am one of the best teachers, I feel that in my heart! I don’t need any administrators telling me that I’m good at it.

I will agree though, that one of the toughest parts about this job is how much it relies on student test scores and assessments.I agree that we can’t control our student’s unexpected circumstances such as how much sleep they got or their breakup the other day, however, in my experience, my students’ test scores have been pretty accurate to their academic performance and potential + 5%. I very rarely have a student not pass the standardize test that doesn’t deserve it.

This job is really about the kids, the immeasurable impact you have on their lives. This job can be hell sometimes. The insane about of work administration wants you to do at the last minute, paperwork the state brings down on you for almost no reason, lesson plan after lesson plan after lesson plan. It can be draining, but I love it and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

If you are an older, tired teacher, I urge you, please stop talking about how much you hate this job! If you hate it that much, QUIT! Move over so the next new teacher with the energy and enthusiasm to shape our future can come in. I truly believe no other profession shapes the future of this county and this world the way teachers do. That is both a privilege and an honor, but definitely not a burden.

 

Love Thyself

Today I went to a Mexican-Korean-American fusion taco bar by myself to watch the Redskins game in a cute black redskins shirt, black and white rainboosts from Nordstrom, long silver necklace from The Limited (basically I looked adorable), reading my book during the commercials and eating my single chicken taco while drinking a Crispin cider, when I realized I have found myself. Not in the sense that it was in that moment I finally realize this; just that I realized I have finally become the woman I have always wanted to become.

I am a woman that values education. I pride myself in being a role model for my students. I dress conservatively enough to demand respect, but still know how to dress in a stylish manner. I like to believe i have influenced many of my students to change the way they dress. I like to show them that there are other things that you can do in your free time other than smoke drugs and the other poor decisions they make on a daily basis, like pick up an awesome book.

I am a nerd at heart. I love to read anything, write to my hearts content, and create equations with every day life and then solve them. I like to teach my boyfriend math at bars and write him mathematical equation love letters and then teach him how to solve them.

I have an appreciate for fashion. Not the kind of fashion that costs thousands of dollars, but more affordable fashion that I wouldn’t feel guilty about spilling mustard on, because I am the type of woman that does that on a regular basis. I have also finally found my financial independence to afford these luxuries (even though my sweatshirt was stolen from my sister’s closet. I am a woman with no shame!)

I have a great appreciation for football. Not just as a testament for my fondness for the sport, but mostly because I am a woman who takes great pride in where she is from. I have lived in the DMV my entire life which is why I am a die-hard Redskins fan. And I will get into a bar fight with anyone who calls them “dead-skins” or “bloody-skins” as the man did today at my Mexican-Korean-American taco bar. (As I said, I am a woman with no shame).

I am a woman who has a strong devotion to her family and friends. I have some incredible friends and choose to be close to people very selectively. I am, afterall, a Scoprio; trust is everything. Do me wrong once and you are forever dead in my book. But it has taken me a long time to realize that my best friend of all who understands me the best and accepts me for who I am no more no less is myself.

I have reached a point in my life where I have looked around and realized how adorable I must look, but my first thought had always been “I wish (so-and-so) were here to see how cute I look right now! I wonder what they’d think!” But today, I just smiled. Because for the first time I realized I didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion. I love myself and mine is the only opinion that matter.

Fresh of the Yact

Has anyone seen the new show “Fresh Off the Boat?” I have to say when I first saw the commercial for this show with my friend Lauren I was so excited. I couldn’t believe they were making a show about my childhood! If you haven’t heard of this show, it’s based on a memoir by chef and food personality Eddie Huang and his life as a first generation Asian-American growing up in the states with traditional Asian parents.

Well, boyfriend and I finally watched it yesterday and I have to say I am thoroughly disappointed.

The beginning of the first episode starts off completely accurate. When Eddie Huang comes home asking for “white people food” after being laughed at in the school cafeteria for “eating worms,” it took my back to my middle school days when my mom packed me Indian food and the kids at school stared at me with a disgusted face and said “EWWWW WHAT IS THAT???” (kids can be so cruel). Every time there after when my mom tried to pack me Indian food I would beg her for anything else. I was subjected to peanut butter and honey sandwiches for the remainder of my middle school career.

And then there was the reference to the difference between how grades are viewed between American and Asian parents. This is a source of so much comedy with any Asian comedian.

So when the white kid next door brings home straight C’s and is rewarded with a basketball hoop and Eddie Huang brings home straight A’s and is rewarded with even more school work, it was nothing I hadn’t expected.

And of course there are tons of hilarious jokes about how cheap Asian mothers are. All funny and true (to some extent).

But it was what followed in the second half of each episode that will probably stop me from watching this show. After Eddie skips out on his mother while she is trying to make him do additional school work, his dad and him have a heart to heart about how he doesn’t get to have any fun. This scene ends with Eddie and his dad playing basketball and his mother sending Eddie’s other two brothers to stop studying and join them.

There are so many things wrong with this scene I don’t even know where to begin. First and foremost, every Asian kid knows better than to complain about doing work and that they don’t have fun. Sure, it’s a thought that crossed all of our minds as children; while everyone else was at a boy-girl party we had to be locked in our rooms studying, and if there was no homework to be done, we were trapped with our fathers learning the next topic in math. And you were especially out of luck if you brought home your math book because my dad had no problem making me do the even problems that were never assigned to me. Did I ever once ask my dad if I could hang out with friends instead? Absolutely not. I don’t need an addition 100 problems. Did it ever cross my mind? You bet. Everyday. What would have happened if I ran away the way Eddie did? I wouldn’t want that punishment.

And then there’s Eddie’s little brother who has two girlfriends and his dad says something to the effect of “you go boy, just don’t tell mom.” That would never, ever, happen. Not in a million years. Unless the other two girls were also Korean. If it was Eddie’s sister, she would be dead.

And then there’s Eddie’s mother who tries to fit in with the American neighbors. I have never met an Indian lady trying to fit in with her American neighbors. Immigrants FLOCK, like CRAZY. It’s a little shocking really how they find each other. I grew up in a small part of Maryland where you wouldn’t think a single Indian existed. But they were there. My mom may have had to drive 20 minutes away, but she found people. That’s what they do. They don’t try to “fit in” with the neighbors (unless they are also Indian).

So why does ABC change the stories around so much? The reality is this: the truth wouldn’t make good t.v. In fact, it would depress half of you, and the other half would just be bored. It would be the same ending everyday; Eddie studying. The only episodes that would be entertaining would be when Eddie tried to defy his parents, but there is absolutely nothing funny about those situations. This show is completely Americanized to make good t.v. and to entertain the American populus this show is geared towards. In fact, even when the press were given an opportunity to question the directors and cast members, they hardly asked any questions about the show and instead asked them about fortune cookies and chopsticks. I recently found out that Eddie Huang too has an issue with this portrayal of his memoir; “The network tried to turn my memoir into a cornstarch sitcom and me into a mascot for America. I hated that.” (read the full article HERE).

Sons and daughters of immigrant parents did not leave glamorous lives or funny ones. We had to live our lives up to our parents standards, living by their rules, and face the harsh consequences when we don’t. Most of us were forced to become doctors, lawyers, or engineers and then go on to marrying someone of our own race. Everything must be approved by our parents, and most of our lives are arranged by our parents. We have to go to college, we have to be number 1 in our class, we have to get straight A’s. We hardly had fun outside of school except with our other Asian friends. We weren’t allowed to hang out with anyone of the opposite sex, never the less have a boyfriend, except for the rare situation where said boyfriend/girlfriend was also Asian and extremely smart. Education was our life and there was little we were allowed to do outside of that.

But the thing is, our parents are completely and totally justified in acting like this. They really did come to America to live the American dream. My father came to America in his early 20s and worked as a chicken farmer until he was able to save enough money to bring my mother to America and eventually build a beautiful life for me so that I could have endless opportunities; opportunities that he did not have growing up in India. He left all of his family and friends behind to build a new life here.

That is one thing that really bothers me about this show (among so many other things); this show keeps talking about how his parents “miss their friends in Washington D.C” completely ignoring that his parents came from Korea! That’s where his family and friends are that he truly left behind. Not another part of America! My parents moved around America 4 or 5 times since they first arrived. Each time they made new friends, kept in touch even to this day, but it’s their friends in India that they consistently miss and talk about, not their friends in Alabama!

Now, I’m not denying this show is hilarious. I just finished watching the third episode and I have to admit it is a pretty hilarious show. What bothers me about it is that they try to play off this show as “the struggles the children of immigrants go through” and it’s just not true. So watch the show because Eddie Huang is at hilarious kid with a hilarious family. Just expect the accuracies to be kept to a minimum.

Pay it Forward: Love All

 

Have you ever met someone and right off the cuff they were jerks for absolute no reason at all? Or someone you have never spoken to in your life walk by and say something completely rude.

If so, you’re not alone. The bad attitudes seem to be everywhere. Yesterday during school, a student (whom I do not teach, know, or even spoken to) called me fat and kept moving along. Later on that day, I watched an episode of Chopped that featured an awful, nasty chef that rolled her eyes and was so cold to her opponent for no reason. Sure, the sheer competition can bring out catiness in anyone, but she kept saying this chef “was so annoying” when she barely spoke two words to her. Later on she jumped down her throat when this girl said there’s no reason why they can’t have a friendly competition. Luckily this evil chef got Chopped in the next round, didn’t see it coming one bit, but of course didn’t leave without a snide comment about how awful her opponents food was (…that she never tasted).

I can’t help but feel like this world would be a much happier place if people dropped the attitude. Not just because we would clearly have less attitude without these people, but when you’re unnecessarily rude to someone, it puts that person in a bad mood for the rest of the day, who will then in turn be rude to the next person unintentionally. It’s the awful domino effect of nastiness.

 

For whatever reason it’s human nature that we remember negatives more than the positives. I’m sure at least 5 incredible things happened to me yesterday, but by the end of the day, I only remembered that one nasty comment some random girl said to me. Or worse, what about when we’re already having a bad day/week/month/year and someone says something nasty to you then. Heck, I remember when I was in 6th grade I was so upset that a girl was rude to me after I brought back a pencil she had forgotten. She never said thank you but proceeded to make fun of my shoes instead. It wasn’t just a bad month or year I was having then, it was my entire awkward years and those awful girls never made it better for me.  Back then I thought the attitude was something that could be outgrown, but I have since learned it only gets worse with age. The random person at the grocery store, the nasty comment on a blog you worked hard on, your quiet neighbor who won’t make eye contact with you; complete strangers who feel the need to be hate everyone around them. It is this groundless hatred that will inevitably destroy us.

We need to stop. Because I’ll tell you what, this domino effect seems to have made its way around the world and it will only get worse. You’ll be rude to your neighbor, who will take their now awful mood and take it out on the next 5 people she sees on that day, who will then do the same. Guess what? Pretty soon that’s going to come back around and then effect you and an entirely new group of people.

I recognize people have bad days all the time so we can’t always be spewing rainbows out of our ears, but just because you are upset about one thing or another is absolute no reason to ruin someone else’s day. On the upside, it’s also important not to let someone else’s negative comments effect your happy mood. Easier said than done, trust me I know, I work with high schoolers and it’s hard not to. But as my coworker said, “make sure you’re wearing your armor.”

Unless we as a population make the conscious decision to stop with the bad attitudes, rude comments, and negative energy, this world will never be a happy place.

Be kind to one another, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Lots of love,
Avi